Norway boasts anti-discrimination laws that protect parents from losing their job if they have children. Both parents are entitled to parental leave. Gangs of fathers hanging out at cafes with their babies are a common sight.
At the same time, Norway’s labor market is very gender separated, with more women going into caregiving fields and other jobs traditionally considered to be ‘women’s work’.
On top of that, OsloMet research professor Cathrine Egeland says “mothers take most of the responsibility for organizing their life to help children with not only school work and physical health, but their social and emotional needs as well.”
That’s what it means to be a good mother today: You have a career, you're not supposed to stay at home, but you also have to bake that birthday cake and be around when your kid is playing football. It’s part of modern mothering.– Cathrine Egeland
The third shift
Egeland is a research professor at OsloMet’s Centre for Welfare and Labour Research and leader of the Digitalization, Law, and Governance research group. She believes Norway is ahead of most countries in terms of gender equality; paid work outside of the house and chores at home are usually evenly split between parents.
However, in most households, the mother is usually the one who stays up late thinking about whether the kids have the right boots for tomorrow’s field trip or how to get them to this weekend’s birthday party.
Egeland describes this project manager role as the ‘third shift’ that parents perform after the shifts of work and chores. In her research, she has found that even living in a very gender equal country, this extra work usually falls on the mother and may result in more difficult career trajectories.
“These tasks aren’t that impactful in themselves, but our culture expects so much from parents. How does this mental load affect your performance at work and your relationship with the labor market over time?”
Asking the right question
This disconnect between Norway’s ideals and the reality is what fascinates Egeland, “I want to understand how we can be so proud of being gender equal and at the same time organize our lives around our children and families in a way that results in a lesser degree of gender equality.”
Her research is mostly qualitative. That means she interviews people with small children about their life and behaviors. Sometimes she also works with quantitative researchers to develop mixed approaches where information from interviews leads to a new focus for a survey.
The research is difficult. When it comes to figuring out why mothers are the ones staying awake worrying about kids’ activities and upbringings rather than the dads, Egeland says most people tell her they don’t know, they just feel like that’s simply what parenting has become.
The growing popularity of Intensive parenting
Egeland points to an international trend of ‘intensive parenting’ as an explanation. As having children becomes less of a necessity in wealthier countries, parents see kids as a project they choose to take on. This leads to a feeling of extra pressure to do it right.
“It's not enough to provide your children with food on the table and a bed to sleep in; you're supposed to provide your children with a perfect life too,” says Egeland.
The problem, she says, is that people don’t like to admit how much they work to make that happen.
It’s not about who goes to work and who cleans the house. These tasks are often evenly split in Norway – most Norwegians would be appalled at the suggestion that they aren’t – but there is more implicit pressure on mothers to ensure these third shift tasks get done.
“That’s what it means to be a good mother today: You have a career, you're not supposed to stay at home, but you also have to bake that birthday cake and be around when your kid is playing football. It’s part of modern mothering.”
She explains that this isn’t just about traditional gender roles, it’s also about class. As these middle-class values spread, even to families that aren’t middle class, mothers are silently expected to do the bulk of the invisible, but stressful third shift work.
She also points to a growing fear that the welfare state may not be around to support future generations. Intense parenting is also about preparing children for a future that perhaps will not be secured by the welfare state.
Need to talk about it
This third shift work has consequences for labor practices. Egeland says that the only way Norway can achieve its gender equality ideals is to have a proper conversation about what it means to have children and be a family.
“People think careers are really important, but once you have a child, women are supposed to be totally oriented towards this child and their emotional and social well-being.”
In the next phase of her research, Egeland will be investigating the effects of this extra mental load or cognitive labor on women’s labor participation and their career trajectories. This has long term implications for both women and society in general.
She says that while Norway is certainly a very good country to be both men and women and children in, having these conversations and understanding the underlying reasons for the disparity will help improve conditions and help it be truly gender equal.
